Tuesday, August 9, 2011


Summer is all about waking up at 11 in the morning or even the next day. For athletes, especially ones at BHS, you are already done with practice by 11. You have probably been up for at least 4 hours. So you pretty much get screwed with summer. And next week starts my first year at the highschool. Lucky me that my sport (volleyball) has practice every morning, starting at 6:30 and 7:30 different days. I have no idea how I am going to be able to get up at 5:30 for most of the week. I can barely get up at 6:50 without taking a nap and thats just for babysitting!
Waking up early isn't the only thing I'm stressing about. I ended 8th grade with best friends that I could always count on and now we barely talk.. They say to find the "good in goodbye" but I still haven't found it. I mean I became closer with friends that I never thought would become my new friends to rely on. Going into a school with over 1,000 freshmen is intimitating enough but seeing those "strangers" that you used to be so close to and lost touch over the summer is even scarier. Especially knowing that they moved on and made new friends while you waited for the friendship to fix itself. Sometimes I wonder "Am I not cool enough for them anymore?" "Am I the one who should have tried harder to save our friendship?" Is it all my fault?

I used to be able to trust everyone I met. I would tell them my secrets and believe that they would keep it. People are so manipulating nowadays though. I think I'm starting to have trust issues with everyone. I struggle everyday with trying to trust and rely on God to make everything okay. As of now, he seems to be the only person I can trust.

Oh I guess keeping up my grades and not looking like a complete idiot in front of everybody is also a stressful topic. I don't want to trip in front of my crush or even the cute boys! I also don't want to seem like I lost all knowledge I had over summer break even though it was barely over 60 days.

So many things could go wrong. And I wish I could say I have it all figured out for when it does happen but then I would be lying.

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